Wednesday, June 17, 2009

An Unfathomable Well

A darkness I am with today:
is anger, and while anger per se isn't necessarily dark---  I equate it with bright  hot  color  & lots of movement, backwards  forwards  up, down  sideways--- the dark part of this anger today is the urge to duke-it-out, to name-call, to sputter cuss words, to knock some-one-or-thing over. And that, in and of itself, is just the shadow part of the darkness.  This darkness today--- this particular anger--- is more volcanic.   A rumbling  earthquaking  ominous   seat-of-your-pants,  marrow of your pinkie  gathering:  It's going to blow!  Like lava seeking it's way, burning tunnels in the darkness, this anger is righteous, more than any other.

Ha!  I don't think so!

And that's the darkness I'm with today--- the unlit cavern of giving-up, turning it over to slamming words, kicked doors, and the wide arc of a full swing

knocking over that little one
 smaller than me with
 her big round brown eyes  
knocking her over  
not even looking at her
just ignoring her

Yes, a darkness in the wide-awake daylight.  Not the anger, just the fear and the dance of fright hopping circles around the little puddle of tears.

And oh, yes!  Deep gratitude!  For my friend, Hafiz, who this morning mentions:

It Will Stretch Out Its Leg

All the classes you have sat in,
All the money you have paid
For "truth,"

Something must be wrong, though,
If your eye still wanders through the streets
Acting like a beggar.

Why not try this:
Let all the fake teachers starve.

Picture one of the great masters
In your mind,
Put your lips against his cheek
Each morning.

Say, keep saying,

"Dear Beloved, pinch me.
I want proof You're near---
A love-bruise on my rump will do."

The Friend is an unfathomable well
That knows everything;
Draw from that safe luminous sky.

Stay near this book,
It will stretch out its leg and
Trip you;

You'll fall

Hugs.  Love.  Smiles.  Tears.  


Merry ME said...

Oh my, I thought I was the only one with a volcano bubbling inside me.

May you be blessed with peace.

Anonymous said...

It must be in the very air today. You've expressed it so beautifully, that volcano, that silent invading whine.

Sorrow said...

The test of temper..
I always pictured it in vibrant colors as well, like neon flashing lights...
temper and fear and rage..
Walking there with you..
and wondering what in the world that pup is chewing on.. is it fingers?

swallowtail said...

yes, my fingers, freckles and all... I wanted her to sit upon the pretty chair, and she stretched, noodle-like to twice her normal length.

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