Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Now, here is the question for the day:  How can one have the 'blues' on such a beeeeeyoooootiful day?  Does not make sense.  However temporary, I am not one to embrace the down.  Maybe I have some judgements?  Maybe.

I am going on a Retreat this weekend.  For contemplation before we meet, are these questions:

*So, what IS my life all about these days?
        To be willing to experience Life fully, even cloudy corners, darkened rooms, startling awareness.  To be willing to express my true response to this experience.  To enjoy Life to its magnificent fullness.  Curiosity.  Taking a risk, or twelve... see how that goes.
*What is still unlived, unfelt and unspoken?

Hmmm, raising puppies?  I may devote a whole blog-entry to this one, later, because I honestly don't know.  Unfelt...maybe winning something really big, creating a huge pile of 
money...  what would that feel like?
Unspoken...I am kind of outspoken.  Again, need to contemplate this one.

*How can I use my accumulated strengths to serve me now?

To speak from the authentic, loving place within me.  To speak from this place TO myself.  
To be kind and compassionate to the artist/writer within who is so critical sometimes.

*What hinders my forward movement?  What supports me?

My inner critic is pretty crabby sometimes, saying all sorts of negative crumbles.  My scrappy "I can do this!" is very supportive, reminding me that my willingness to move 
forward is every bit as strong, often more so, than the whiney one.

Whew.  I will work on these a little more, later.  We are going to the Lake!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Lizard and Buddha Laughing

A Strange Feather
by Hafiz

The craziness,
All the empty plots,
All the ghosts and fears,

All the grudges and sorrows have

I must have inhaled
A strange

That finally



Sunday, May 17, 2009

Home again, Home again, Jiggedy jig

No More Leaving

Some point
Your relationship
With God
Become like this:
Next time you meet Him in the forest
Or on a crowded city street

There won't be anymore
That is,
God will climb into
Your pocket.
You will simply just take

Having been out of county(I'm not in town anyway) since Wednesday, it is feeling so good to be home again.  The jingle goes through my mind, "Home again, Home again, jiggedy jig!" makes me smile, and I think, "Such truth in those words..."

This morning I went out to see how the garden was doing on its own, without me staring at it. Well!  The weeds are in power-mode.  The tomatoes are too, as are the Neighbor Beans and potatoes.  Definitely feels like being at the races.  Turning to come back in for my cup of coffee, I noticed the purple and red Sweet Peas, and my climbing "black" rose.  So I cut an armload.  I think that today this is my favorite color combination.  It means I am back home.

The Monterey Aquarium is a remarkable place.  It was full of pre-schoolers on a field trip, as were as several bus-loads of Junior High students accompanied by a legion of frazzled adults.  I inwardly grinned:  I was there by my own self(not even a dog within 200 miles that was mine). It is still an uncomfortable feeling to not be in charge, even if they were from counties far from mine.  I saw a little girl climbing into the tide-pool exhibit(open to touching, not sitting upon), I stopped and watched to make sure that she was safe... and a long-limbed dad scooped her out, dripping and flailing.  Oh!  I am here to watch the otters!   Moving right along, I did find sea otters, and river otters.  They swim around and play with their toys, so we all smile and laugh to see one circling around with a bright yellow wrench on her tummy.  Outside I was able to see the wild sea otters with their young in the kelp beds.  They moor themselves with the kelp, and the babies nurse, play and use the parents as diving boards.  It has been a life-long dream for me to see this.  This was my "Artist Date" for this week.  I was(still am) blissed-out with all that I saw.  I chose to not take my camera inside, rather to be with myself and the wonder of the place, my joy at being there, the amazing information and presentation of it all.  And I felt a little remorse at my decision when I arrived at the "Jellies," or "Floaters" exhibits.  Oh my Goodness!  They are so colorful, ethereal, magical.

That little girl in the tide-pool exhibit reminded me of my youngest son (here we go again!) whom I had left in the "charge" of his older sisters while I made a quick(ha! part of the problem) foray into the fabric store.  I was in the back room when I heard a commotion, amongst other exclamations..."Where's our Mom?  We need......"   Should I hide in the remnants?  No, there was enough concern in the raised-voices that I got there quickly to find one of the girls holding the soaking wet toddler.  "He fell IN!  He FELL in!  We caught him before he went all the way under!"  He was soaked from his head to his knees.

I was going to write something profound.  Maybe I have.  I am just so glad to be home, to do a load of laundry, take a photograph, fold the laundry, snuggle with Luna, smell my jar of roses and sweet peas, that I appreciate that it is too hot to even go outside.  The weeds get another day of freedom, and the tomatoes will pop out another handful of blossoms.  A good day to put my feet up, close my eyes, and take a nice, long, deeeeep breath!

And my traveling friend is home, too!


Monday, May 11, 2009

Begin Again and Starting Over and Over

It seems that once one is a fiber artist... it never goes away.This painting was once something different.  One day I took a paintbrush and dipped it into a pot of black paint... and had so much fun painting the whole thing black!  Oh, it was a rush!  These squares and rectangles took over, and have been with me in some form or another for about 6+ years.  Fine with me.

I am working on photographing my work.  These photos were taken by my friend Kelly, who has been a photographer for many years.  Even she had to grab a photo of my helpers!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Early Early Early Saturday Morning

We're off to the Human Race 2009!  All aboard, no squabbling in the back seat!
At times a little nervous, and so composed.  How far is 10K anyways?
Awesome Aunt Whacky.
Dev takes her races seriously.  There she goes!
Nonnie pinned that sign on pretty well.
We are off!  Taking a walk with 10,000 people & at least 8,000 dogs.
Mary walking backwards!
Note:  Great time!  Better than last year!
There she is!  Finished her 10K in great time and with a BIG smile!!!
Stretching it out.
YaaaHoooooooooo!!!  Here they come!  Rebekah's first 10K with Aunt W. in hot pursuit!  My camera battery died soon after, so this is the end of the documenting...
This is an amazing event to raise money for non-profits.  Volunteers put it on, and the announcer really did say that there were over 10,000 runners and walkers.  Pretty cool.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Keeping Going

So far this is where I am.
Found a poem I wrote a few years ago.  Title: Postcard from Here.
Today: Another Postcard from Here.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

When the Violin (paintbrush, pen)

The violin
Can forgive the past

It starts singing.

When the violin can stop worrying
About the future

You will become
Such a drunk laughing nuisance

That God
Will then lean down
And start combing you into

When the violin can forgive
Every wound caused by

The heart starts

This is why my paintings look like they do!  Pattern, color, surprise, shadow, depth, layer upon layer of hue and shape.  By following these elements, the work is infused with spiritual gratification for me, and hopefully for the viewer as well.Maybe I need to pick myself up and take me to the Photo Store, and just pick out the lens and purchase it(them?) and bring them home.  There is one Osprey in the tree,  #2 had just flown. They had been sitting on these branches discussing things.  I was able to walk up so close, yet the photo does not show what I wanted to see!  I want to see the words they speak.  I want to see the expressions on their faces. 
They're both here.  Imagine this as your living room, piled with clouds and all that new greenery, complete with a lake full of fish for breakfastlunchandsnackanddinner.
I know these two are sisters ;-)

Starting "Walking in This World," by Julia Cameron today: adding a walk to my creative spiritual practice.  I love this work!  Our "task" this week: "What the Hell, You Might As Well"
oh goodie... I get to fill in the blank!  #6. on the list:  Send my sister the fudge recipe..., #7. Send my sister fudge.   Yes, this is going to be fun.

Creative life shows up everywhere.  Not just on the perfect canvas, or great novel, or even the whole completely crafted king-sized quilt!  Creativity is in our thoughts, and our sigh.  It is in the sounds we hear, what we make up, the smile in the car next to us at the stop light.  It is in saying, "Yes!" and moving on to chapter 5.  I am here to explore this paradise.

Yes.  Grateful.  Yes.


Saturday, May 2, 2009

Rainy Saturday

To  A Friend's House
The Road Is Never Long.
And the baby Mortgage Lifers are nestled in their new beds.

Farmer's Market in the Rain

Farmer's Market in the Rain

Why do you want a picture of me? Mr. Preston asks.  Because you're my hero, I don't say outloud.  Or maybe I did.  He is.  His vineyard shows up on this blog in all it's wild glory.

This is a nice man who follows me around and carries my bags.  These are Hungarian Peppers.
And these are green garlic and spring onions.  O delicious dinner upcoming!  There were not many people at the market, being rained-out, I guess.  But the mood was upbeat and all were heard to praise the rain!  
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