Friday, December 30, 2011

Cozy Rainy Day

I am responsible for dinner tonight.  So, I've soaked the beans, and now they are simmering in the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale that I borrowed.  And, I am back up here in my window seat, happy as a clam. Took a hot tub in the rain (ah, bliss).  The people are all settled in for a rainy day with books, puzzles, more books, movies I've never heard of before, yarn for knitting, books and enough food and beverages for an army.  It is quiet, and then conversation and laughter breaks out.  I have been carrying the #3 Dragon Girl book around for at least three months.  Cannot seem to get into this last one.  Maybe tomorrow?

Photography for today is on hold.  But I am burrowing into fearless Creating, by Eric Maisel, Ph.D.  The format of the book is to read, then to write into the meditations/suggestions.  Oh my.  Big stuff.  This morning, about possessing an idea that you've (I've) wanted to work on for the longest time already..."The one that you're sure someone else has already done a better job with, and so reject?"  There is no (NO) good reason to reject an idea you've long harbored, he says, like he is sitting here in my window seat with me.  "Bring it back...  Dust it off.  Remember that choosing is anxiety-provoking and that the anxiety of this stage is confused mind anxiety.  Accept your confused mind... For now, just dust it off, honor it, think about it, cherish it."  Omg.  Are you kidding?  Then he says, "With a fresh (albeit confused) mind, look again at the idea that you've long wanted to pursue.  Name it again..."

Oh, Goddess!!  This gets uncomfortable.  That old idea has been shelved for, umm.  Decades.  Arggh.

Look!  My sweet, giant, restless Muse.  She is pounding in the rain.  Frothing, bubbling, roaring.  She is right there when my eyes rise from the page.  Moving, changing, ferocious, constant, ancient and completely renewed.  She doesn't honor convention (doesn't need a horizon today), she keeps her own time, she invents landscape and seascape, she destroys and starts over.  She carries nutrients, swirls with current, creates wind.

She sends her scent up and over the cliff to me.  Seaweed, surf, wet, slippery and drenching.  Come, she says.  No fear stands between you and I.  Only love.

Mmmmm.  This is getting good.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Love the Coast

It is gray out here.  Soothing.  Calming.  Cozy.  Fog down to the ground.  Drizzle.  No horizon, just foreground.  The surf is pounding, rumbling, just over the cliff.  I love it here.  Wet.  Muted.  Quiet.

Summer grasses tangle with blackberry vine.  Fog gathers in creased blade.  Crystal orbs group to drip into Earth, seep back to the Ocean.  An awesome system.  In place.  Constant.  Infinite.

Ebb.  High tide slams into rock, sprays white and salty.  Crashes over black in white froth and foam.

This is not my palette.  But I am fascinated.  Movement, rushing sound.  Focusing through the lens of the camera composes a canvas, a thought.  Beneath the surface of the wave are blues, turquoise, and gray reflection from the sky, which is down to, and included in the water.  It's a poem in the making.  A page in the writing.  Love in motion.

See the little kelp?  Living right there.  Taking a daily beating.  Happily?  Perhaps:  it has it's real estate, its exercise, its nutrition.  But but but does that equal happy?  I see no ipad, no bank on the next rock, no improved kelp, no cathedral, no school, no BMW, no tears, no squabbles.  There is family.  Community.  Sharing the rock, several rocks covered with these kelpies.  I mean kelp. Kelpies is a whole 'nother subject.

Tell me.  How does happy feel to you?

Loving you.  Yes.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Holiday Programs

After several failed attempts at capturing the seasonal pageants, I just focused on my Beloveds.  One Kindergartner (no name, haha!) transported me to when my youngest was of this age.  Well, one must admit that all the excitement and preparation, and late night, and Goodness Knows where dinner was last, that a Kindergarten Grandson was understandably twitchy!

At the end of the "Holiday Program" last night, I asked this one if I could take her photo, and she replied, "I don't have my costume on!" and went about her way.  This turns out to be the bestest photo of the evening!  Yes, I have some of her dancing in her awesome costume, but have yet to figure out how to use the  Get Rid Of The RedEye feature on iPhoto. Life is a continual learning process.

So, Winter Solstice is upon us.  For Californians, it is the driest-in-20+ years December.  The frost has sparkled for many mornings.  I never seem to get warm, until I've consumed too much coffee.  I want to take advantage of the drier weather in the garden, to clean it up, turn the soil, mulch with leaves.  But I haven't.  I stare into the bare, skeletal trees.  I walk way way way out into and around the largest vineyards.  The dogs and I go to the Lake.  I paint.

And yes, gratitude swells and takes hold.  I am grateful.

Loving you.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Her Mama
Her brother, Kai
A sunny day, so she can wear her pink mini-skirt
Extra kisses
2 eighty + pound dogs
2 black & white hens
2 brown eggs
Being loved

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Abstract Horses, Beloveds.


Winter Coats.

She is a beautiful Paint.  Though this is her one-and-only spot.  She's what I would call "roan" but then, I don't know that much about Painted Ponies!  I do know that she is such a good Mama, and her youngster is definitely Painted, black w/white.

On the day that I took these photos I was patiently waiting for the Starlings to wing their way back around to us.  I wasn't really paying much attention to what I was doing, so was pleasantly surprised to notice that however and whatever I frame-up, there will be an abstract slant to it.  Must be how I see things.

These are "the kids."  A trainer has been coming out and dressing them all up in saddles, blankets and bridles, and walking them, together, up and down the lane.  I love it.  Sometimes they are talking with him, with soft lip-smacking nickers.  I love that sound.  Obviously they are comfortable with him, which reverberates through the perfect little clip-clopping of round hooves.

These are my kids.  
Well, you know: daughter & grandkidlets.
Yes, they are impressed that she ran the marathon, early spring.

Her main fan.

A couple of my guys.

Grandpup with Beetle.


Kaitlyn!  At Uncle Skyler & Auntie Gina's wedding this past June.

Love and hugs.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Me Dogs

Two faces which make me happy and grumpy, sometimes simultaneously.

I've not spent any time(until August, 2 yrs ago) around a male Labrador.  I should've, a long time ago.  There is not much on the planet that inspires such belly-laughs, frustration, joy, annoyance and just plain marvel.  Anyways, that describes my Emerson.  I've said it before, but here it is again, "I love love love him!"  He personally brought home at least 7 lbs of sand.

And here is the regal Ms. Luna.  She just turned 5!  Today I will give her a chicken neck to celebrate, since her birthday was the 10th.  Sorry, Big Girl.  But she knows, since she is a Sagittarius, that Life Is A Party.

Go ahead, say it!  She is beeeeeeeyoutiful!
As long as you are not a chicken or a varmint.

I enjoy accessorizing her.  She looks so good in pink and polka dots.  She is not too girly-girly, in fact she looks truly pained when I bring out the nail polish.  She does love new collars, though.

This is "sit" with an ear towards small game.

Yes, ever so well trained.  This is the "down."  Long enough for a photo.  :-)

This weekend qualified as a most------------------(frustrating, damaging, annoying, exhausting) fill in the blank.  Suffice to say that today it feels as though I have a hang-over, and didn't have any fun.

But, I am recovering.  Bought chicken food and Kill-the-Damm-Fleas stuff.  Got a cup of coffee.  Got gas.  Drove out to the Lake w/said Dogs.  Drank the coffee.  Threw the balls.  Drove home.

I am grateful for every single moment of Life.  Yes.  Even bewildered moments.

1.  I am grateful for my ever-cheerful dogs.
2.  I am grateful for my awe-inspiring daughters.
3.  I am grateful for people who never say anything.
4.  I am grateful for my camera.
5.  I am grateful for my sister.
6,  I am grateful for my program.
7.  I am grateful for this moment.
8.  I am grateful for the fact that I may learn how to forgive in this lifetime.
9.  I am grateful for Gratitude.


Friday, December 9, 2011

This Isn't Just About Birds

I took one dog (because the Black Labrador had no manners at the front door, he had to take the march to confinement, and missed out on a ride to find the Starlings), and my camera and took a late afternoon ride.  Drove a big loop, ending near where I began, about 5 miles as-a-crow-flies downriver from our house, where the birds were doing their thing.  I threw the ball for Luna and watched the sun set behind the coastal mountains, while the Starlings practiced their murmurings.

At times I feel as though I am running as fast as I can go so as to not feel.  Of course this is contrary to Life, Purpose, etc., etc., etc.  Today I noticed that my spiritual practice doesn't seem to be "working"  it appears that I cannot shake this thing, even on an excursion into a sunny day.

My granddaughter has been extremely ill.  I have not been brave enough to write about the illness head-on. Now I just want to say that she, and her mother (my youngest daughter, Elisabeth), and her brother Kai, are the bravest people that I know.

So from my ramblings today I have decided, once again, to keep my priorities straight.  My lists will serve me, my prayers are noticed.  The tender places will always be inhabited.

Elisabeth, has created a blog. Click here:  Kaitlyn

Love and hugs.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

House Work

So.  I need to get back to sweeping.  Vacuuming.  Dusting.  Or.  Do I?

Love you.
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