Sunday, December 28, 2008

Pink, Pinker, Pinkest

Who would stand before a blackboard, and pray the principle of mathematics to solve the problem?...we shall avail ourselves of the blessings we have, and thus be fitted to receive more.
Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks.  Action expresses more gratitude than speech.         from "Science and Health" by Mary Baker Eddy.
These pink beauties are from my mother's garden.  She left them behind, and they celebrate her love of color, beauty, solitude, and cheerful, wide-open flower faces.  One of Mom's sayings was, "Actions speak louder than words."  Which annoyed me over and over again, and which has proven its truth over and over again.

On these longest nights, with a toasty fire, ginger cookies, and the bedroom rug balled up in the dining room by rambunctious dogs, I feel gratitude well up within.  Not just for the comforts, the humor, the season, but I am deeply grateful for this Life: for insight, for finding the writings of Mary Baker Eddy, for this urge to know Spirit within my own self.

...and I just read this from MBE:  "Prayer cannot change the unalterable Truth, nor can prayer alone give us an understanding of Truth; but prayer, coupled with a fervent habitual desire to know and do the will of God, will bring us into all Truth.  Such a desire has little need of audible expression.  It is best expressed in thought and in life." 

So.  For tonight, with Mom's flowers blooming in late autumn light, I allow gratitude to sweep into and over and through all that is known to me.  

And I love you.


Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas with the petlets...

Actually, I prefer those laser-light thingys.
I do love this time of year.  Thinking that at any minute now, I am going to sit down and attend to the spiritual moments...  any time now!  

Today broke out all sunny and fresh!  We had breakfast and cleaned up, and decided to go to town (o brilliant!), to buy leashes to replace the ones I put in the recycling box (to be put away, ahem, later) and which are now being recycled in Marin County, and to buy socks (on sale, right?), and to buy the present I really wanted to give Mary, and calendars are 1/2 price, oh yes, so is/was the moleskin planner which I was having such a hard time finding, and we were out of cream for tomorrow's cup of coffee... 9 hours later we arrived back at our little homestead!  It is quite possible that our little after-Christmas-sale-jaunt cost more than the original jaunts did.

So now I get to set up my 2009 book, fix the addresses, sharpen up a new pencil.  Clean out something, prepare for new, fresh, never-known until now... for bigger Good, brighter Light,
a more clear Love.  Time to contemplate:  what do I choose to release in order for me to express more fully?  what holds me back?  does this still serve my Highest Good?  what is calling me?

So Good.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Eve of Christmas Eve

It's cold and blessedly rainy.  California is grateful for the rain and snow.  I speak for the land in this deep and dark season.  

I love the Madonna and Child:  Mother Earth vibrates so we all may live, may have this experience on The Beautiful Planet.  

Luna jumped on the living room table this evening.  Walked across and got caught and yelled at.  Jumped off.  The Nativity Creche and the Christmas Basket-thing with its lights and little silver angel on the top are still standing.  Why o why would a 70lb. dog jump on the table? Thank goodness Baby Jesus is glued down is all I can say.

You'd think that I could get lots done in these long evenings warmed by the woodstove.  Nope. I seem to have a mental/physical block to finishing 10,000 projects.  Maybe in the morning, since they have to all be done by noonish.  Maybe only 5,000 of them will be finished?



Saturday, December 20, 2008


She's "fixing" her house, since quite a few things have disappeared, magically.
Humming as she works.  Hmmmm, hhmmmmmmmmm.
The top of the roof.  Yes.  Every inch of these tastes good.  Yum.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Happy Birthday!

...toooooooooooo mmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What fun birthdays are that are "significant" and end with a zero!  Like moving through a plate of fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies, laughing manically, crying healing tears, comforting and being comforted,  snow close down on the hills, and a new awareness of why Christmas doesn't start until after LC's birthday!  

Maybe a new decade scrolling in front of me makes me maudlin.  Maybe now that Winter has finally made its Presence known, I am contemplative.  I do know that I am grateful for all that is, right here and now, none of which I am in control.  He he he, not to say I didn't try!  

Couple more of these birthdays, and I won't even think of trying to control anything!  Yeah!

Mmmm, thank you!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Rain Is Here

and it is so cold!  Berrrrie Berrrrrie Cold!  The drips outside sound so good, I know I will be sleeping soundly tonight!

Tonight we had "Tom and Jerry's" made from scratch following the recipe I remember my Mom whipping together when we had Christmas Company.   Warning:  rich, potent and powerful.

 2 eggs beat until frothy             
 add 3/4 cup sugar and beat on high until the mixture is light yellow and pretty thick, like            thick pancake batter.

Bring 2 cups of milk to a bubbling, frothy almost-boil.  Turn off the burner.

Spoon some of the batter into a mug.  Pour in the hot milk.  Add a jigger of good brandy.  Grate nutmeg on top.

Because I have had tow (2) of these, there are no pictures.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Mary's Broken Arm

On Tuesday, December 10th, I broke my arm.  

I broke my arm because I fell off a swing at school.  It happened because I was slowing down on the swing, and I fell on my arm and face.  Fortunately, I didn't get any cuts or anything on my face, but I broke my arm.

Then I went to the office and I waited for a little while with a clipboard under my arm and ice and a paper towel on the side of my arm.  My teacher came in and saw me, and asked me if she could go get my sister.  I said, "Thank you, yes please."  

Then my sister came in and she asked me how it happened, and I told her.  She asked me if she could go get me my lunch, and I said, "Thank you, yes."  And I ate some nachos and a "nangerine" and two bites of beans.  Then the secretary said, "Let me call your Mom..." and then my sister left.  And my Mom came and picked me up and drove straight to the ER with me in the car.... crying.  I was a little bit afraid.

And I was in the hospital for 6 hours straight, and I could not eat or drink for all that time 'til I got out of the hospital.  And when I got out, I ate chicken noodle soup and I had to take two spoons of this medicine.  And I had a whole glass of water, actually 2, after that.

The end.  For now.

Diction taken by Nonnie.  12Dec08

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

More Holy Relationship

The holy relationship is the old unholy relationship transformed and seen anew.   from "A Course in Miracles."Have you ever seen a drunken Robin?  This is why:  could it be the blazing red?
Toyon berries.  So red, so beautiful.  Seriously, after these first frosts the berries begin to ferment and the Robins gorge upon them.  Then, loopy Robin Redbreast sings and flaps and carrys-on like any other Being who has been into fermented brew. 

This morning I straggled out of bed.  It was as though my spirit just wasn't with me.  My Happy Go Lucky had got up and left without me.  Too much worry, too much old-crappy thoughts, too little of the "good stuff" had me frumpy; no amount of coffee could dislodge the ragged feelings.

I dressed, put on layers of sweaters and vests and jacket and crampy shoes and went out for my neighbor-walk, grumbling "who would walk on a cold morning like this, and who would walk with her???"  Of course, I avoided the dogs, as they read minds and would volunteer in a heartbeat, without all the negative discourse.

As I walked into my neighbor's driveway, her two pinto babies born this spring were racing each other back and forth in their pasture.  The colt bunched together and put serious speed into his frolicking.  The filly bucked and kicked and caught up with him.  Joni and I fed the horses before we started our tromping through the vineyards.  Now, how could anyone stay frazzled in the face of this pure joy?  

"Under the Holy Spirit's guidance, we come together to share joy.  Under the ego's direction, we come together to share desperation.  Negativity, however, cannot really be shared because it is an illusion."  Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"

What a concept: negativity cannot be shared because it is an illusion.  Holding this thought gently, imagine all past inequities, hurts, betrayals, disappointments... melting into the nothingness from which they came.  Poof.  Gone.  Holding this thought gently I allow forgiveness to melt away that which does not serve me.  Holding this thought gently, I allow myself to fill up with Toyon berry red and the Robin song to fill my ears.

All Is Well.

And the rain is coming.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Holy Encounter

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.  As you see him, you will see yourself.  As you treat him, you will treat yourself.  As you think of him, you will think of yourself.  Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.   ...from A Course In Miracles.

Loving all of it:  Trash.  Heartache.  Wishing-it/this-were-different.  Love encompasses the messed-up as well as the possibilities.

It is not easy for me to love trash.  Litter literally sends me off the deep end.  My pockets are always full of stuff I pick up, from fish hooks through plastic bags.  There is a lot of trash in between, let me assure you.  Martyr I am not:  I grouse and grumble and write scathing horrible rants.  Oh, and I complain.

Now, I have started taking photos of everything that I see.  A miracle moves into the viewfinder, up my nose, and voila!  I'm in love.  Maybe not rhapsodising; I mean how gorgeous is a mattress and box springs thrown into a houseless 1900 cellar with last year's Xmas tree?
I admit, the little graffiti guy is just kinda cute.  Something happens in there, framing the scene in front of me brings focus.  With the focus comes new awareness.  

Old stuff, garbage, whatever... shifts with conscious seeing.  In 1970ish a book came out called "The Zen of Seeing" (I just went and picked it off the shelf: 1973 to be exact, AND I paid $3.45 for it!!!).  The author quotes Meister Eckhart, "The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me."  Spirit living within me is in this with me!  Today I look gently upon the day, and all that this day holds.


Sunday, December 7, 2008

Winter Recital

It is understood that we have the most amazing musicians in this family!
She practices her music and is hecka good at goalie.
Calm and cool, and Christmas Carols never sounded so good!
Um, this was the night before!  Before Poppa whupped her at Chinese Checkers.
Just so you know, that's my hat.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

Pammi's Orchestra

First Utah
The whole section.
Aw, it's all about Treats.
Give credit where due:  consider what it took to get this photo!  Pammi has SALMON treats!!!


Friday, December 5, 2008

Happy Birthday Bloo Luna!

Yeah, after I got used to you it's kinda fun having a Canine Saggi around.Don't chew dare!  You big lummox you.
Oh Goddess.  Do you think they'ssssssssssss EVER going to take you back?
Okay.  Just try it.  I'll knock your block off.  
What's a birthday?  Will somebody leave something besides the blender-lid on the counter?
Ms. Luna is 2 today.  She brings all sorts of joy and hilarity to our lives.  Today while I was driving out to the lake, she put her head on top of mine with a huge sigh, "How LONG does it take?"

And after the month and a half of rice, supplements and raw turkey, her belly is clear and she is not itching.  Yay.  Last night we came home pretty late, and in front of the stove on the rug, were $1000 worth of Christmas Chocolate Money aluminum wrappers and remnants of my Peruvian Llamas from the nativity creche.  No rash yet.

Imagine her peeling those wrappers off the chocolate.  We are thinking of installing a video.



Socked in fog today
and I am freezing.  Freezing.
Looking skyward I can see
blue, with striated clouds
high above the atmospheric
playground where starlings
perform fantastic twisting,
playing tornado.
Blue is hope.  Blue is the last
color one sees in advancing
blindness.  Sometimes I am
blue with longing.  Foggy
mornings muffle colors,
shrink my world.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008



by Mary Oliver

My work is loving the world.

Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird---

equal seekers of sweetness.

Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.

Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.

Are my boots old?  Is my coat torn?

Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?  Let me

keep my mind on what matters,

which is my work,

which is mostly standing still and learning to be


The phoebe, the delphinium.

The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.

Which is mostly rejoicing, since all ingredients are here,

which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart

and these body-clothes,

a mouth with which to give shouts of joy

to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,

telling them all, over and over, how it is

that we live forever.

Listening to mine messenger, that's the quest.  Listening to Mary Oliver last night was inspiring, hilarious, and deeply moving.  She made a joke about commas being inserted into lines by poets wanting some definitive way to highlight a particularly fabulous phrase,  "...that's why you find them in my poetry, and dashes, lots of dashes!"  I just loved how she let us all know that we all have precious phrases and lines IN us, and of course we are going to search for ways to make them obvious!  Why wouldn't we?

Listening to a program about Roy Orbison as I am working today:  I loved him when I got my first Personal Stereo (not to share with Mom, or brothers, or somebody turning it off right in the middle of "Leah!").  I played his records many times every day.  Oh Lordy, now I hear him in rehersal with the Boss.  Now, HOW am I supposed to concentrate?  Oh, Sweet Dreams, Bay-beh!

Oh, and MO writes dog poems!  Hee hee hee!  Look out, Literary World!!!

What is your personal Messenger whispering today?


Monday, December 1, 2008

Minutia and a loose painter

Pocket Monsters bring joy.  Someone gave the troll a haircut.String of Pearls blooming.
Mmmmmm.  This may show up as a painting.
I have been scrubbing walls, corners, and even the grate on the front of the 'fridge.  Living with dogs is a grimy affair.  Ignoring the corners does not help the situation much.  The turkey soup is simmering, cookies baked, dogs sacked out in various creative poses, one ear alert in case I pick up the fly swatter, go near the vacuum cleaner or put on the walking shoes.  The first two are reason for hiding better, the last cause for raucous milling and vocalizing.  I finished shelling the Neighbor Beans, put away 10,000 dishes and plates and bowls, too many loads of laundry, swept, and even read the label on the fire extinguisher: it was checked in June of 2000. Up to date, kind of like my paperwork.

Tonight Dev and I are going with my writer's group to listen to Mary Oliver.  I have never heard her "in person" so I am very much looking forward to this evening.  Of course, doing anything with the beautiful Dev is captivating, except walking the dogs.  They bug her.

SO, I am now going to put on the go-for-a-walk-with-the-canines shoes.  Hmmmm.  They must not know how to interpret keyboarding.  He he he.  Uh-oh.  I lied.



PS:  Click on the last photo for a treat!

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