Thursday, February 5, 2009

Recovering Crazymaker

"No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer It has chosen."  Minor White
Fabulous!  It is raining, not quite cats and dogs, but close.  The sky is grey, and I am enjoying the birdsounds and water dripping.  The fire is warm, and Luna is rolled up in a ball in her quilt.  She played with Tahoe(grandGoldenRetriever) earlier and they got soaking wet, which is good by dog-standards, but Luna has short-short hair and only one coat of it.  She gets cold where no Golden Retriever or Labbie ever even cares.

My Morning Pages stirred up the pot.  Shocking to see my own soup: enter the Crazymaker. Paraphrased: The Crazymaker 
  • expects special treatment
  • discounts my own reality
  • spends my time & money
  • triangulates those they(I) deal with
  • am an excellent 'blamer'
  • creates drama--seldom where it belongs
  • hates schedules
  • hates order
  • denies that I (eye) am a crazymaker
Now Julia Cameron and God, do not expect me to hang out here.  Nor do I expect this of myself. And this obviously has come at a time where I am strong enough to see myself with some clarity.  I found myself slightly beside myself, squirming with disbelief.  Being somewhat familiar with the proverbial self-bashing, and not wanting to go that route, I have decided to be calm.  Let this be for now.  

This is good work for short days, warm fires, and a journal that can hold itself together.



Annie said...

Rain has been with us on and off for the past few days as well. We sure have needed it. Wish there was more rain and snow higher up to help build up our reservoirs.

Funny you should mention your Morning Pages. I just found my Artist's Way book from several years ago. It was so used I had taken it apart, 3-hole punch the pages and transferred the cover to the back, side and front of the binder. I had not looked at it for quite a while so I set it out to read again and read especially my margin notes and see where I have journeyed in the six years since I first made this trip.

Bimbimbie said...

I've forgotten what I was going to say ... the word verification is procas is it having a go at me because I'm putting something off till later*?*

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