TGIF; We're so glad you're home, and congratulations!

It Felt Love

by 

Hafiz

How 

Did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All its

Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its

Being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too

Frightened.

The kids are home from their trip to Italy, and we are in love with all things Italian, starting with delicious pizza and a million things to put upon it.  Decidedly delicious.

When Grandma Mary Helen wakes up in the morning, and comes out to her kitchen, this is what she sees.  Imagine this out your window every morning!  Through our evening together, the clouds settled on the peak, disappeared the whole mountain, and then let her go to settle into the dusk.

Nonnie's Papa (not Gram's Papa) is coming up the driveway.  Annie is dancing... notice the stillness around her.  This is my favorite skirt, I want one.

Thomas a little shy, but excited, here comes the Papa.  The evening colors so exquisite.  The temperature warm, with cool breezes.  A moment to breathe in, and hold on for a little extra.

This is a garden to savor:  The Peonies past their prime, yet still drenched in gorgeous (yeah, I like that!).

These two seem to be having a quiet conversation.  Maybe they await tonight's snail trails and tickles?

Made their own pizzas, and ate them all.  Yum.

From left:  Mama Margo, Bride-to-be Gina, Grandma Mary Helen, Sister Lia.  Beautiful women!

Groom-to-be!

Skyler

(my baby boy!)

(sorry, I can't help myself!)

Beautiful ring, for a beautiful young woman... all hopes and dreams and practicality and excitement and hard work and education and determination and tender and we love you, Gina.

It is official:  We are having a wedding in June, 2011.  And we do weddings!  This is going to be really really really fun.  And we are so excited for these two.  Most likely I will be writing more on this subject, for now, I am savoring this sweet moment, these two young adults, and the wide-open future.

Congratulations, Skyler and Gina.  I love you completely.

xoxoMom

Dear Dev, You need to come and see your Mama...

While talking to #2 Daughter this morning, on the phone, in the sun, on the back porch, "You should see what I see on Mom's Clematis..."

So I picked them, one by one.  I put them in my left hand.  The sun warm upon my back I notice, these little buggers are nocturnal.  They chew all night long.

They wake up in my palm.  Actually, it feels kind of cute to have them crawling around on my hand.  Is there a poem here?  Who are these guys?

They do, fairly quickly, get squirmy and decide to flee.  They pile upon one another.  They do not click, or whistle, that I can hear at any rate.  They move faster than one might expect.

Look at all the beautiful spirals.  So perfect.  You know, this is the same spiral found in the Sunflower, in sea shells, in my thinking, doing, wondering.

So, I took them out to the front yard, and put them into the Periwinkle.  They won't hurt anything there.
Blessings, Little Spirals.
xoxoLC

bad good dogs and flowers; Muse

The possible's slow fuse is lit by the imagination.   Emily Dickinson

The lilacs are loving this long, cool, and wet spring.  They just keep getting plumper, and more purple, and light-headed.  The heart-shaped leaves make me smile beyond green, even.  I snipped an armload of them, it feels so opulent, almost as though it is too much to accept.  Through my years of yards and gardens, I have rarely picked the lilacs, thinking that they are most beautiful outside.  Two days ago, I threw caution to the wind, buried my face in the foliage and fragrance, and voila!  Now they are in one of my favorite old blue quart jars:  Perfect!

My Little Mom used to admonish me for picking flowers.  Some of my choices were deemed "weeds!" and of course, were not allowed in the house, so I took them, in jars, to my room upstairs.  I loved the Dock(Burdock) Weed, yellow buttercups, chamomile, yellow and purple mustard, willow branches, and fistfuls of clover.  Mom loved to pick her own flowers, and in her late-years it was a beautiful daily ritual for her to wander around her yard and harvest her bounty.  She did accuse me of stealing her jars, though.  And yes, this is one of them!  Thanks, Mom.

Okay: get ready for this next photo.  It is painful to look upon.  It shows straight-on the shape of the lawn in the back yard, with little hope of recovery in the near future.  Note to self: figure out something!  This is the tag-team for fabulous four-legged hole-digging.  Could we make money with these two?  Harness this dedication and intelligence for The Greater Good?

Luna loves to bury Emerson.  She holds him down, in the hole, with a choke-hold on his neck.  If I manage to ever get a photo of this I will share.  His expression is one of toothy delight, wide grin, no growls because they get in trouble for growling (don't ask), his feet flailing in the spring air:  Heaven on Earth.

See?  No remorse:  These are the bad good dog faces.  The Possible is always possible.

"the possible's slow fuse..."  This morning I am enchanted with this line.  The Orioles are all here now, the male is piggy with his feeder, hissing and pecking the beautiful female, who hangs upside down from the wire-scroll hanger, unconcerned with his peckish ways.  Patience, my dear, The Possible will reveal itself in a most wondrous way, the flamboyant male will weave the nest with her.

The weather pummeled the Iris.  I felt concern that their unfurling would be hampered from all the rain.  Yet, each day a new colored one reveals itself.

Cucumbers and Prayers

by

Hafiz

All day long

The earth shouts

"Gee, thanks."

Such an exuberant gee,

It starts throwing 

Things

As if God were passing by in a parade encouraging

Rowdy behavior

by looking so beautiful---

That a whole avalanche of mania swoops in!

I like this idea of throwing things at God,

And especially---His making us rowdy!

Thus, as soon as Hafiz is out of bed

I start stuffing large sacks

With old shoes, cucumbers,

And

Prayers

For the upcoming

Consecrated

Free-for-all---

And who knows

What else.

Yes.  Let us plant cucumbers, possibles, prayers.  Let us breathe in this special spring day.  Let us breathe out love and healing.  Let us celebrate!

Blessings
xoxoLC

The Sun In Drag

The Sun In Drag

by

Hafiz

You are the Sun in drag.

You are God hiding from yourself.

Remove all the "mine"---that is the veil.

Why ever worry about

Anything?

Listen to what your friend Hafiz

Knows for certain:

The appearance of this world

Is a Magi's brilliant trick, though its affairs are

Nothing into nothing.

You are a divine elephant with amnesia

Trying to live in an ant

Hole.

Sweetheart, O sweetheart

You are God in

Drag!

Oh. That Hafiz.

xoxoLC

wet meander

You know I love you baby

more than the whole wide world

you are my woman

I know you are my pearl

let's go out past the party lights

where we can finally be alone

come with me and we can take the long way home

come with me, together we can take the long way home

come with me, together we can take the long way home.

Tom Waits/Kathleen Brennan

Rain.  More rain.  Lots of rain.  I have been loving every drop of it.  Every drainage ditch is filled to the brim, and then some.  The clouds hang heavy, their underbellies dragging across the landscape.  It is so beautiful.  Brings out the artist, right?  One of my favorite photographers said something like, "...the only way to get a good photo is to go out there and get wet (or hot, or blown away, or all of it!)"  I am still coughing like crazy, but I took the long road home, for some quality-time with LC and the camera.  Coughing be damned.

There's a place out there, where the vineyards are manicured, and the places for the water to travel are controlled, directed.  The "drop" is gradual, with these amazing steps of concrete.  When all the water is calmed down, it flows gently, quietly.  Today it is rushing, clamoring, noisy.  Wrecked my hair-style, got my camera soaked.  Oh God, I love it!

Last night Wayne and I went to see/listen to John Prine.  I have vacuumed many a rug to Mr. Prine.  Wayne sings his songs, even I heard him singing last night.  It was fun to hear the audience sing with John, those songs are in us like our breath, on us like our freckles.  Someone noted last night, that the audiences are getting pretty old.  And, my youngest and his fiancee were there, so the whole audience wasn't old   ;-)

Falling.  Flowing.  Wet.  Spring.

Forgiveness, it seems, cannot be forced.  When we are brave enough to open our hearts to ourselves, however, forgiveness will emerge.    Pema Chodron, from "The Places That Scare You."

And that, is what the seasons teach.

xoxoLC

Getting Well

To know know know you, is to love love love you

and I do I do, yes I do.

Today my grandson, Kai, is S I X !  How this has happened already is one of those mysteries which will never be solved.  Today his mama, my Elisabeth, was sworn in as a Search and Rescue person.  Newly trained and building: probably not correct lingo, but that is how I see it.  This is a milestone for her, a marker, a stepping-stone, and the ceremony celebrates each one of the new people for their dedication, their hard work, and their service.  One might say, this is a tall job: and it is volunteer.

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend as planned.  Being a coughing person right now, it is best to stay home and not frighten anyone.

And I will just have to show up later with donuts or something that a policeman would like for his birthday.  Yes.  Now I have a plan.

I headed out to the garden for some chard to put in the Pumpkin Curry soup, grabbed my camera because it is indescribable outside.  Realized, "Oh, this feeeels soooo goooood!"  The air is light-hearted, the birds delirious, there are the beginning of color-riots, even in my dog-tormented yard.  When else do you sit down for a moment, on your own porch step, and appreciate the Cyclamen and Alyssum?

This is the Candy Cane mint.  I am going to make some syrup with it.  Because, it tastes like that; like the middle of a chocolate mint patty (I mean a really good one).  It's great for tea, and a main ingredient of my Girlfriend Tea.  My "Eldest" after having said yes to a cup of tea, peered over my shoulder at this very clump and exclaimed, "Eeeeeeeeewwwww.  Mom.  There's ants in there."  Bear in mind, if you don't remember, this is my favorite Nursey daughter speaking.

Old Flag.

This is the bush Cecil Brunner.  I dug her up from Mom's yard in Ferndale.  She was astonished (the rose, not Mom) finding herself in Cloverdale, which can only be described as the polar opposite of Ferndale.  Today I notice that there are many buds.  Oh, everyday gets even better.

Those days that I was either in my bed flat, or in my bed on my side, I had some weird dreams.  The most notable was the FB Dialogues.  Understand that I slept for 41.5 minutes and then woke up.  This went on for three days, and is why I missed Easter.  The dream picks up where it left off, repeats itself, and goes forth a bit.  Someone states their state-of-mind, and someone comments.  "No!  That's not right!" I say vehemently, and my mental chatter commences.  Sometimes bits of disturbing national news enters the string of comments.  My mind sticks to the disturbance, like a fly to flypaper.  Flopping from side to side, winding myself tightly in sheets and layers of pajamas, I argue relentlessly with the "facts" only to awaken confused and disoriented in darkness and tangled clothing.  The second night repeated the first, with the addition of a new photographic trick performed by FaceBook, whereby images appear, swirl apart into molecular fragments, mix together with red, and reform in 3-D.  For many reasons, the images were reassuring to me, at least I could count on them.

Calendula Baby!  These pretties are loving this two-day renewal of Spring.  Oh yes, let us get to bloomin' and so they do.

I managed the FB Demon by calling in something more real to me, though it took some Doing.  I said, "God, this will never do:  Comments fly around like nobody's business, and upset me.  I obsess on nobody's business, and this is driving me crazy in a nutshell."  God most likely looked at the clock, noting that it is 3:14 a.m., smiled and "She's serious.  Good."

Yes, it is good to recover.
Happy Birthday Kai!
Congratulations, Liz!
I really do love you.
xoxoMom

Restoration, Renewal.

I am so fond of this little guy.  He seems to be alone, so far.  If I remember correctly, he gets here before the females.  Maybe he is supposed to be weaving a nest?  Oh, bad boy!  He plays in the hedge, and poses on the fountain, and sips his nectar.  I am thinking he had better get busy, now, or maybe he is buffing-up?

A few years ago I was really sick.  As I recovered, I watched the Ravens build their nest, and raise two raven babies.  They did not come back for two years, even though I have pined for them.  I wrote poetry about my attachment to them, I felt like they were my babies.  I must have written about that portal, and the voyage, and today I do not have the strength to go back into the archives so I don't repeat myself.   You see, I am sick again, though thankfully, it is the first time since then that I've been ill...and I think the Ravens are inspecting the tall Pine tree.

I called Toby the Acupuncturist.  He is seeing me early afternoon tomorrow.  I coughed right into his ear, apologetically, and he said, "Oh no, that just confirmed something for me.  Laura, that is involving your whole lungs."  And I have to say, he does not say this in an alarmist way, he says it very thoughtfully, in such a way that I start getting better right then and there.   And my friend N2 had just said to me, "When is your appointment, LC?"  I blurted out, "TOMORROW!!!" and hung right up and called Toby!

I told him that I had been into the halls of Kaiser three times in the past few weeks.  "Ooohhhh." he said with concern.  You see, I am one of those people who seem to know too much for my own good.  I know exactly where this "bug" made it's entrance into my body temple.

At the T-ball game a couple of weekends ago, I was standing under this tree.  I looked up to see this array of buds and blossoms breaking out in a frenzy.  "The Spring energy will do this," says Toby.  And I am so looking forward to the boost his treatment will provide.  Looking around our yards, and vineyards, the Oaks and Buckeyes, it is easy to see to which he refers.  Everything is bubbling forth, blooming, and the rain has not stopped.  We are all over-loaded with moisture!

I didn't even notice Easter!  I slept through Saturday and Easter Sunday.  And look!  I am upright now!

Blessed Be.
xoxoLC