Who's God? My God! Oh God!

To get good photos, you have to go out... Ansel Adams or Morris Minor or Reese Bullen 

or Mr. Sams

Here is a great assignment: This week in your morning pages, write about the god you do believe in and the god you would like to believe in.  Hmmmmm.  So, is the god who creates raindrops sliding down a pine needle, gathering in perfect, crystal clear drops before falling to the waiting green earth... big breath... the same god that created me, creates me, creates through me?

Such a risky question, who is in charge here?  At times it is difficult to accept that God, in all Its glory and power and strength and creativity would choose me, little ole me, to do one smattering of anything representing Her.  Often my thinking has been that God would, of course, as a matter of fact, choose every body & thing besides me!  God must have a sense of humor to endure this abuse.

Memory:  In P.E.(many moons ago), especially for body-slamming sports, if I wasn't doing the choosing, I was chosen first, probably since no one wanted to play against me, and not necessarily for scoring goals, as one day I would be hit-every-shot, and the next miss them all. On those off-days, I defended the goal as if my life depended upon it and no one made any goals, we all suffered bruises, "Gawd, Paine..."

Oh.  This sounds awful.  I apologise to all of you that I knocked over physically or trash-talked. A bully-girl just met herself again.  And, important here... I apologise to and forgive this Tough Girl, who really wasn't very tough.  I really forgive her!  I expected you, me... to tough it out through everything, left you out there on the court/field with no defense or offensive team to help you, assist you, support you.

Whew.  Beautiful.  

So, for the rest of today, I will tippie-toe into surrendering to my Good:  my portion of God expressing through and as it's creation:  I surrender to opening to my Good, my God, my Goddess.  I open to this; unrestrained, unhinged, unencumbered, full-on expression!

xoxoLC

More Holy Relationship

The holy relationship is the old unholy relationship transformed and seen anew.   from "A Course in Miracles."Have you ever seen a drunken Robin?  This is why:  could it be the blazing red?
Toyon berries.  So red, so beautiful.  Seriously, after these first frosts the berries begin to ferment and the Robins gorge upon them.  Then, loopy Robin Redbreast sings and flaps and carrys-on like any other Being who has been into fermented brew. 

This morning I straggled out of bed.  It was as though my spirit just wasn't with me.  My Happy Go Lucky had got up and left without me.  Too much worry, too much old-crappy thoughts, too little of the "good stuff" had me frumpy; no amount of coffee could dislodge the ragged feelings.

I dressed, put on layers of sweaters and vests and jacket and crampy shoes and went out for my neighbor-walk, grumbling "who would walk on a cold morning like this, and who would walk with her???"  Of course, I avoided the dogs, as they read minds and would volunteer in a heartbeat, without all the negative discourse.

As I walked into my neighbor's driveway, her two pinto babies born this spring were racing each other back and forth in their pasture.  The colt bunched together and put serious speed into his frolicking.  The filly bucked and kicked and caught up with him.  Joni and I fed the horses before we started our tromping through the vineyards.  Now, how could anyone stay frazzled in the face of this pure joy?  

"Under the Holy Spirit's guidance, we come together to share joy.  Under the ego's direction, we come together to share desperation.  Negativity, however, cannot really be shared because it is an illusion."  Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"

What a concept: negativity cannot be shared because it is an illusion.  Holding this thought gently, imagine all past inequities, hurts, betrayals, disappointments... melting into the nothingness from which they came.  Poof.  Gone.  Holding this thought gently I allow forgiveness to melt away that which does not serve me.  Holding this thought gently, I allow myself to fill up with Toyon berry red and the Robin song to fill my ears.

All Is Well.

And the rain is coming.

xoxoLC