Gently

Gratitude is a homely but effective antidote to despair.  Julia Cameron, "Finding Water"

"When you begin to slide into despair, " says Julia Cameron, "it is because you have lost your sense of grounding.  Therefore, the tool to apply is one of gentle well-being.  Put simply, your need is to count your blessings."  She goes on to instruct us to "take pen in hand..."  yep, another list.  Twenty-five things for which I am grateful.

1.  I love my kids.
2.  My kids love me.
3.  I am healthy.
4.  Anticipation is alive in me.
5.  All is well.

When sadness is overwhelming, Spirit does not leave the room.

6.  Those frogs!
7.  Rain, and more rain.
8.  Stars, bright after the rain, that coyote howl.
9.  That I can see, hear and smell the rain, the frogs, the coyote.
10.  The long husband snoring softly in the other room, two cats curled with him.

I am grateful for life.  Last week my youngest son lost one of his dearest friends in a car accident.  His sadness has transformed and deepened him.  He has supported the parents with his presence, he has cried rivers.  He is contemplative, vulnerable.  He is picking up, and moving along.  The Memorial Service will be this coming Thursday.  He and his friend played T-ball on the same team, hung in there together and graduated from the alternative high school.  They understood one another.

It is difficult to understand things:  Life holds so much mystery.  There are a myriad of circumstances which make no sense what so ever.  As I write this I can hear some one speeding on our country road.  They are running through the gears, their engine is screaming, this is the second time that I have heard them as I write; the speeding car.  My son's friend was killed instantly, it was 2 a.m., on a rainy, foggy night, on a winding back road; the driver, his other best friend.

I have watched my youngest shed a skin these past days.  He will be 23 years old in a little over a month.

Mothers share tears.

I am grateful to know Love.
xoxoLC