pressing in on me nightfall
erases the brief yellow day
chill slides down the vineyard
robins fly overhead using crystal air
I'm not willing to forgive because
if I forgive something will be lost
some reserve or position. Some
miscreant will walk free. An
unconscionable act will repeat.
Cruel words may proliferate.
passing up my walk today
no time for breathing November
or praying in the thick sunlight
dogs snoring at the studio door
I'm not willing to forgive. Because.
Jaw clamped hard, muscles contract.
If I forgive I will be thought soft
of intellect, insignificant, weak. If I forgive
all will be lost. All that proof of criminality
wasted in a burst of goodwill. The stoic
withholding, deprivation, frugality
wasted in a single wash.
this year winding down
blowing cold from the North
Canadian gees stay all year
enjoying grapes, lake and new grass
I'm not willing to forgive, even when
I dream of forgiving, of softening
of embracing, breathing, enjoying Life
as grace and wisdom and
iridescent gathering.
LPC28Nov07
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1 comment:
Hmmm, forgiveness.....intellectually I understand it frees us, but I, like you, hold on to not-forgiving. Perhaps it's the adrenalin of anger/not forgiving that sustains me.
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