Back Home, Right Here and Now

After spending two days short of two weeks away from home, husband and dog, I find myself in a bit of a dither landing square into my former life.  The seasonal changes are obvious, I can see grand swatches of yellow in the Cottonwood tree, there is a cool breeze, and I do NOT hear the busy conversation of the Orioles.  I had a feeling that they would've headed south by the time I'd returned from Whidbey Island, and it appears that they have.  

After many adventures and a new book title, I was faced this morning with a disconcertingly white page.  Blank.  Blank like my mind.  

Imagine the airport authorities pulling a large (HUGE! was their description) butcher knife out of your good friend and traveling companion's computer bag.  Yes.  That really did happen, which makes it non-fiction.

Imagine discussing and grumbling over whether something is fictional or not.  Imagine listening to readings every night except for two, where we were so tired that we had to take long walks in the cool night air.  Imagine being filled up every single day with all-things literary!  Seriously, it was heaven!

Imagine having your beloved camera go bonkers.  Big bummer.  So Mt. Baker, and Mt. Rainier, and The Olympic Peninsula, the fog, and the deer, and the smooth white stones are all still back there, waiting to have their portraits taken by me. 

So.  I guess I am imagining that now I need (NEED) a new computer, a new camera, and a nice little cottage on an island in the Puget Sound.

Luna is keeping a close eye on me, even napping.  Mayhap we will be going swimming soon.

Good to be back, seriously.

xoxoxoLC

What Is The Root?

What 

Is the

Root of all these

words?

One thing: Love.

But a love so deep and sweet

It needed to express itself

With scents, sounds, colors

That never before

Existed.

***

Hafiz

***

One thing: Love.  At the root of every thing.  Perhaps, because we sometimes struggle with words, Love best describes that which moooooooooooves us; wakes us up in the morning, picks tomatoes, sweeps the floor, makes the coffee, writes the poem.
...a love so deep and sweet...it knows no other thing than to express itself.  So, the Eel River, no matter how shallow, how "managed," how empty of eels or salmon or... look closely!  You will see the Caddisfly larvae near the frog... the long tube-shaped thing (I see 3 of them in the photo).  Though the river looks like it is hurting, what is there is living!  This reassures me. The river flows, lives.
The tiny lizard is all the colors of the rock.  The rock is large and sun warmed.  A nice place to grow up, with bugs buzzing around for food, the river whispering, Grosbeaks singing fragrant songs.  I have always wondered where the parents go, leaving such itty-bitty lizards behind.

I am feeling sensitive.  Today I went to town to the courthouse to support a family who is so dear to ours.  Their lives are disrupted, they are sad, traumatized.  

The rest of my day has been restless.  I am remembering sweaty piles of boys, wrestling themselves senseless.  I am remembering feeding them, repeatedly.  I am remembering how the girls, a few years older, were tolerant and even not-so-secretly loved the swarmy, slimey boys. I am remembering how sweet it was to witness the deep and abiding love that tied these boys all together with their "chosen" friends.

Today at the courthouse the drama plays out in a weird reverse.  "It" all happened almost 2 years ago; now there is testimony, wringing the story out of notes, files, police reports and broken hearts, telling the story through leading questions.  There is alcohol, drugs, and choices gone horribly wrong.  There are parents and family and friends, hoping against all odds... for what?

For the opportunity to say, one more time, "I love you, David."  I love you, and now it is time for you to stand up in your life and love you.  

For a sign of hope.  

...a love so deep and sweet

It needed to express itself

With scents, sounds, colors

That never before

Existed.

The back of Lola's head, in that glorious late sunshine!THIS is putting the sun-spot to good use...

Skyler is a master-griller.  Seriously, it turned out deeeelicious.
Here is Mom/Nonnie's coleslaw.  In the late-afternoon-at-the-river sunspot.
Rebekah's new manicure, ready to get down and dirty with the BBQ chicken!

Pot Luck

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, goooooood!

grown up

At daybreak I swing my legs over the side of the bed, the first parts of me to acknowledge these soft morning colors.  Cool air slips under sleepy bedclothes, I'm grown up the first thought.

Fresh aroma of dark pressed coffee pulls me to sitting upright.  I am wound tightly in sheet and summer quilt.  I am grown up.  My legs dangle over the handwoven rag rug on the floor.

Last night the hoot-owl's soft call was the last sound I recognised.  I recall hoping to hear it again as I had the night before.  Wriggling between cats and husband, I was the last one to cash in after making the rounds to secure the zoo, sleep quickly enveloped me. 

I'm grown up.

I'm grown up.

I wonder where I went in that deep sleep.  Hoot owl beckoned:  Enter the Old Forest, dripping with fog, dew drops trickling down furry Redwood trunks.  The soft aroma of wild ginger blossoms, exotic purple cups under heart-shaped leaves, recall peat and sword fern.  I'm grown up.  The summer river is slow and cool where it gathers and circles deep green.

xoxoLC

the photo is from  Robert Potts@California Academy of Sciences

green eggs and ham

I am Sam

I am Sam

Sam I am

...do you like

green eggs and ham?

You do not like them.

So you say.

Try them!  Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may, I say.

Dr. Seuss

**********

Just looked at the copyright, to Theodor S. Geisel, Dr. Seuss [pseud.], 1960! Mercy, how time flies!  And here is the funny part:  by 1960 I was the chief, I mean Chieftess, Reader in our family.  Nightly I read out loud to my little sister. Over and over and over and over, I read Green Eggs and Ham.  Sometimes I had to read it to her 25 times in one night.  Sorry, that was an exaggeration.  Her other favorite was all about Cowboy Sam and Shorty.  Some might say these are still her favorites.

Reading Green Eggs and Ham, to myself this evening, since there are no little ones around and Luna is asleep in the chair I sat in back when, then 1960; I notice that I like this little book.  I love it, in fact:  Sam has a little sign, and he sits on the back of his doggish-cattish, and circles past the grumpy guy three times... the little sign says "I am Sam."  Sam is persistent.  Sam is cheerful.  Sam remains persistent and cheerful, through rejection, grumpiness, flat-out "...I do not like that Sam-I-Am!"  Horrors!  Nope, doesn't bother Sam, in fact he goes on a creative bent like no other in history.

Would you?  Could you?

In a car?

Eat them!  Eat them!

Here they are.

...on a boat.

...with a goat.

...in the rain.

...on a train.

...in a tree!

...in a box.

...with a fox.

...in a house.

...with a mouse.

And it isn't until the grumpy guy is under water in the sea, under deep, blue water having been tortured with possibility, when Sam says,

 

You do not like them.

So you say.

Try them!  Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may, I say...

This is definitely an annoying way to go about things.  I do not recommend employing this tactic to get what you want, you know, as a grown-up.  And I am noticing something:  cheerful persistence is a quality that I can use.  I like that.  I love that. I want that.

A new idea cannot come to fruition without letting go of the old idea (or ideas). This has come to my attention several times this week.  My mother said to me often, "You cannot put a square peg in a round hole."  Oh Goddess!  Mom, what were you thinking?  Of course, she most likely witnessed said daughter, from a very young age, pounding said square peg with a frightening and determined fervor to get it into the round hole, with persistance and then fury.

Well.  I am liking the obvious and calmness of gently, kindly, and great relief... just putting aside the habitual thoughts that do not serve me, and pick up the idea, the concept of my opening completely to Infinite Possibility!  Let me Try them!  Try them!

I can always pick the old stuff back up, right?

xoxoxLC